Herd of Selfish Cows?

I’ll warn you in advance that this is going to sound mysogynistic…

Very mysogynistic.

At what age do women stop being people and become cows?

This morning, I had finished a delivery on the upper floor of a building and caught the elevator down.  When the doors opened at the ground floor, there were 5-6 large women standing directly in front of the door.  They were blocking the way, so I couldn’t get out.  I was in the door opening of the elevator, so they couldn’t get in.

Impasse.

It litereally took long enough for the doors to start closing before one of them got it through their thick skulls that for them to get into the elevator, they had to let me out first.  The problem was that they were selfish cows.  Okay, how does that work?  Let me explain. 

These women were selfish.  Their thought processes were something like, “I have to get in the elevator, and get in before everyone else, and only things with “I” in it matter”.  They didn’t care who was waiting in the elevator lobby the longest – I’ve seen them sneak around other people to get in the front of the line before.

These were cows.  They work as a herd.  If nobody starts moving, nobody moves.  they will stand stubbornly until someone makes a random move, or makes a command decision.  This goes for other things too – like sending the kids to soccer or getting those Swarovski crystals on their pedicure.  If so-and-so enrolls her kid in Little League, everyone else in the peer group has to also.

I’ve never arrived at the ground floor and had my way blocked by a bunch of men.

It continues.

Curtis and I took the work van and go to Yamagen to pick up lunch for the office.  When we got there, there were 4 cows around the order window.  They were hemming and hawing over what to order.  We had phoned in our order, so it was just a matter of giving the cashier the $24 that I already had counted out and grab the food and go.  Unfortunately, the cows were blocking the window.  The cashier called out one previous order.  The Japanese National whose order it was could not get to the window to pick it up because the cows wouldn’t give way for him to approach it!  They still hadn’t decided what to order.  The cashier called out another pick-up.  The girl waiting also had trouble getting to the window to retrieve her order.  WTF?!

They finally order one by one, but instead of going to sit down, they lingered in a herd, still blocking the window so Japanese dude couldn’t get to the window again to get a spoon or the bottle of shoyu for his tsuekmono.   One cow paid for all of it, then the herd stood still blocking the window trying to make change.  The girl who just picked up her order managed to squeeze by at this point.  The herd finally moved toward the seating area, but before I could get my order (which was getting cold at this point), one of the cows returned to the window, pushing, litereally, in front of me,

“Can I switch this Pepsi for a Diet?”