{"id":909,"date":"2008-06-06T00:36:41","date_gmt":"2008-06-06T10:36:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.studionewmedia.com\/blog\/?page_id=909"},"modified":"2008-06-06T00:36:41","modified_gmt":"2008-06-06T10:36:41","slug":"december-24-2000","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/studionewmedia.com\/blog\/index.php\/man-in-japan\/december-24-2000\/","title":{"rendered":"December 24 2000"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Subject: Mele Kalekimaka!    (I can write that in Japanese)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\"><strong>Date: Sunday, December 24, 2000 4:52 AM<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">&#8220;&#8216;Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru    the aparto, not a creature was stirring, not even a cockroach.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">&#8220;Chris wasn&#8217;t nestled snug in his futon, as he    still had cleaning to do&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">&#8220;Visions of sugarplums were not dancing in his    head&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Argh. That&#8217;s enough of the literary Chris. While I was    out riding today, I was trying to figure out words that would rhyme, but as    you can see, I&#8217;ve failed miserable. Not a poet be I. I was going to work in    the nonfunctional refrigerator and the wonderful hot shower, but couldn&#8217;t do    it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Since I&#8217;ve been asked this question a couple of times,    let me &#8216;plain Xmas, Okinawa style.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">I figured, that since Japan isn&#8217;t a Christian country,    there wouldn&#8217;t be Christmas like we (&#8220;we&#8221; being Americans from various    states) know it. It actual kept me going thru the hot summer. &#8220;Well, summers    almost pau, then winter which will be cooler, and no Christmas folderol&#8221;.    Oh, Chris, you stupid, STUPID boy. Was I mistaken.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">I think it was around Halloween the infestation began.    Daiei had these little stunted plastic trees. Small display, I figured, no problem.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">But then, more and more I started to notice Christmas    stuff. Stores started decorating with Christmas motifs, and I began to see lots    of &#8220;Happy Christmas&#8221; and &#8220;Merry Chistmas&#8221; (had to stop and    think, &#8220;Happy Christmas?&#8221; is that proper English?) signs everywhere.    Mos Burger, a Japanese McDonalds, has &#8220;Merry X&#8217;mos&#8221; as their theme    this year.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Then those damned dancing Santa&#8217;s sprouted overnight    like the worst pimple outbreak ever suffered. I really find those things annoying&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">AND THE MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Christmas music has to be real low on my list of music    I like. Real low. But of course, everywhere is playing it. English as well as    Japanese. The first fifty times I heard &#8220;Jingle Bells&#8221; in Japanese,    I thought it was bearable. Now, I start drooling uncontrollable and start punting    invisible dancing Santas. I was in the hardware store this afternoon, and they    had the dancing Santas ( I keep typing &#8220;Satan&#8221;) and they were playing    Japanese Christmas carols. Oh, the potential for serious mayhem was very high.    I think my lack of Japanese language skills is the only thing that saved me    from an international incident. &#8220;Excuse me, where are the Husquanavana    chain saws???&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Lots and lots of decorations. On the streets, in the    stores, everywhere. The punk moped gang (I&#8217;m not kidding) wears Santa suits    and freaky makeup when they drive around. I expect that at 0:01, 26 December,    it will all be taken down in true, efficient Japanese style. Anyone want to    bet?<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Today was Christmas Eve. In Japan, it&#8217;s actually more    important then Christmas Day. Xmas Eve is a &#8220;couples day&#8221;, like Valentine&#8217;s    Day. So couples all over the place today. &#8220;Humm, dancing Santas, Japanese    Christmas carols, happy people in love&#8230;.&#8221; If that isn&#8217;t a recipe for    ritual dismemberment, I don&#8217;t know what is.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">My place is clean. While I showering this morning I    scrubbed the bathroom. Yesterday I cleaned and did laundry. I have a kickin&#8217;    plastic Christmas tree that I didn&#8217;t put together right, so it&#8217;s all lopsided.    I think I&#8217;m ready for the &#8220;Parental Tour 2000&#8221; to kick off tomorrow    at 10:30. Haven&#8217;t figure out quite how I&#8217;m going to amuse the parents, other    then &#8220;here&#8217;s the key to my apartment, here&#8217;s my business card, don&#8217;t get    lost, smile a lot.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Been invited with the parents to several &#8220;parties&#8221;.    One of them is at my favorite English teachers apartment. She&#8217;s the one whose    wedding I went to. Her sister in law is going to be there. *Sniff*, smells like    set up to me, as well as her male teacher friend who likes to refer to me as    &#8220;cute&#8221;. If he hits on me, &#8220;Mom, go kick his butt!&#8221; Hahaha.    Sorry, the potential for trouble is very high.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Christmas is not a holiday here, so it&#8217;s a work day.    My boss (borrowing some Aussie English) is a legend, so he&#8217;s like, &#8220;you    worked a lot for the conference. Don&#8217;t come to work.&#8221; (I can take a hint).<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Then there&#8217;s a national holiday that starts 29 December    and work doesn&#8217;t start till 4 January. I think.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Anyway, thanks for the cards and what not. I&#8217;m a little    sad that I&#8217;m here, far away from my friends (sniff, sniff). But I&#8217;ll have my    parents to pick on, so that will help.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">I told one of the dancing Santas at the hardware store    to take care of all my friends this Christmas, and I swear, he winked at me.    Please, all of you have a wonderful Christmas. And if you don&#8217;t, please let    me know, I&#8217;ll go back and boot his dancing Santa ass into low orbit.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoPlainText\">Chris<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Subject: Mele Kalekimaka! (I can write that in Japanese) Date: Sunday, December 24, 2000 4:52 AM &#8220;&#8216;Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru the aparto, not a creature was stirring, not even a cockroach.&#8221; &#8220;Chris wasn&#8217;t nestled snug in his futon, as he still had cleaning to do&#8221; &#8220;Visions of sugarplums were not dancing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"parent":31,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/PaJYlx-eF","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/studionewmedia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/909"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/studionewmedia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/studionewmedia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/studionewmedia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/studionewmedia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=909"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/studionewmedia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/909\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/studionewmedia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/31"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/studionewmedia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}